I have been considering purpose a lot more recently. It certainly feels like a “buzz word” sometimes. “What is your purpose?” “How do you find your purpose?” “10 steps to finding your purpose…” – that is some great click bait right there! One of my favorite podcasters (yeah, Scott Smith!) likes to say “If you don’t know what your purpose is, your purpose is to find your purpose.” Very simple and practical. That’s Scott logic for ya!
The reason it has been on the forefront of my mind is because my life has changed so much in the last two years. Yes, I talk a lot about motherhood on this blog because that is my world. I am in the thick of it as I try to figure things out. And honestly, I’ve been feeling a little lost recently. Like I don’t know what my purpose is. I mean, I know I want to be the best mom I can be to my son. But all the things I used to do before have been stripped away and make me feel a bit naked. Peeling back the layers. Who am I when I’m just being me? When I’m not working? When I don’t have the flexibility to do whatever I want whenever I want because now I have a tiny human who depends on me? Those are the things I think about.
And what about goals? Oh man! I ROCK at goal setting! If I set a goal, you bet your a$$ I’m going to attain it! Who am I when I’m not setting a big a$$ goal? A big athletic endeavor or piano recital to work towards? Because that’s what I used to do and it gave me a sense of purpose. And now I don’t do those things anymore. But if I’m being totally honest, would I really want to be doing that right now? Probably not. I don’t quite have the bandwidth for it. (and those who know me well are probably thinking … Ummm, you are working on your Masters and you tap dance and read a bunch … what about all that?!?! I know, I know … those are all definitely goals that keep me going … it’s the BIG stuff I miss!)
So I think I’ve settled on this: I don’t need to search for my life purpose because purpose is found in the process, not the outcome. It’s in me. It’s in the way that I move through life and the relationships I have with myself and others. I can show up to each day of my life and live it with intention and presence. I can choose to focus on BEing instead of doing. That is my purpose. (BAM!)
“Anything and everything you have experienced has been purposeful; it has brought you to where you are now.”
~Iyanla Vanzant
Sometimes you don’t need a really big goal to have a sense of purpose. Sometimes it can just be in how you live your day to day.