So, I resigned my lease today.
It was quite surreal.
Surreal because I can’t believe an entire year has passed since I moved into my new home.
And surreal because of the circumstances of why I had to move.
How different my life is now.
A year ago, if you had told me where I was today, how settled I felt, how much I felt like ME, the real ME, how truly happy I was … I wouldn’t have believed you. Sure, I would have wanted to believe you. But really, in my heart, nah. No way. Because I was in the midst of tremendous heartbreak. You know the drill. Never fun.
You see, a year ago I had to make a very difficult decision. A year ago I had to leave behind a life I thought I wanted. Leave a relationship, a beautiful home, a potential future, all of these amazing things I had dreamed up in my head. I had to leave it ALL and start over again.
Again.
Oh, I’ve been down this road before. This is a well-traveled path for me. Different potholes perhaps, but very similar territory.
And not fun. There are no shortcuts through heartbreak city and grieving the loss of a relationship and the potential it held. It’s messy, it hurts, it makes you cry, like ALL the time … I wouldn’t wish it upon anyone.
But, MAN.
Now that I have perspective? Now that I have hindsight?
Wow. I am so much better off now than I was then. I just couldn’t see it.
And how could I? How can you know what you just don’t know?
People can give you all sorts of great advice and words of wisdom from their own experiences. And you can take it or leave it. And a lot of the time we leave it. Why? Because we have to go through it ourselves to REALLY get it. Know what I mean? It’s like trying to learn how to swim by reading about it in a book. You can’t possibly do that. Until you actually get IN the water and start swimming, that’s when the true learning begins. When you experience it yourself.
We all have our own journey. We all have our own path. And we all have our own set of experiences that we need to go through in order to prepare us for what comes next.
And what is that? Who the hell knows! It’s unique to all of us. But whatever it is, everything that has happened, all the “good” and the “bad”, was necessary to prepare you for this present moment.
You are not the same person you were a year ago, a month ago, a week ago, a day ago, even an HOUR ago. Life is constantly changing, with the experiences we have shaping us and pushing us to grow and evolve. Well, most of us. Some of us are a little resistant. #notme LOL.
And as I sit here looking back on the past year, I am in awe. Truly. Sometimes it takes looking back on the past to realize how far we’ve come. So take a moment and do that. Really. Like movie frames passing before your eyes.
As Steve Jobs so eloquently put:
You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backwards. So you have to trust that the dots will somehow connect in your future. You have to trust in something — your gut, destiny, life, karma, whatever. This approach has never let me down, and it has made all the difference in my life.
Word.
Trust the dots. All of them. And remember to do what makes you happy.
