It has been a while since I have written (I feel like I started my last post off the same way). A lot has happened. I had a beautiful baby boy  nearly a year ago (more on that later!) and my entire life changed. In a very good way. But also in ways I am still getting used to. Needless to say, I am slowly trying to find myself again, maybe even redefine myself in this new role as a mother. 

Yet. There is a sadness. A restlessness. A loss. A grieving of the life that once was. Because nothing will ever be the same again. 

As new moms (and any mom) know, having a baby is all encompassing. You think about things very differently. You prioritize differently. Your mama bear protectiveness emerges (especially during a pandemic) and you will do anything  and everything to keep your child healthy and safe. You try to find a peaceful joy in the day to day that has become both predictable and unpredictable. You have this new found love for this beautiful child you created that you didn’t even know was possible.

You adapt. You try to find some resemblance of your former life, but it will never quite be as it was. You now have this tiny human in your life, one you love like nothing you have ever loved before, and one that is completely dependent on you.

It’s easy to get lost in the day to day of feeding, diaper changes, tummy time, naps,  laundry, maybe some tidying up (ha! who are we kidding?), and oh, time for yourself. What is that anyway? It used to be so easy. Maybe it didn’t feel like that at the time, but it certainly does now.

I am redefining what that looks like. Finding little pockets of time in the day to have a moment to connect with myself again. “Ahhhhh, this is what it’s like being with me. I almost forgot.”  

Even if you didn’t just have a baby, make sure you have find time for you in each day. Even if it’s just for a few moments.

When you recover or discover something that nourishes your soul and brings joy, care enough about yourself to make room for it in your life.” 

~Jean Shinoda Bolen

Do what makes you happy.