Meet yourself where you are.
I have to continuously remind myself of that.
I haven’t talked a lot about my postpartum recovery, but it has definitely been a journey. I had my son last summer and it was a very long labor. The birthing process itself was uncomplicated, except for a bit of hemorrhaging that needed to be monitored afterwards. My hopes for doing it all unmedicated did not come to fruition, and I am extremely grateful for the pain meds! And very proud of myself for going without them for as long as I did. I have a very high pain tolerance but this little guy definitely tested my limits!
I went into my pregnancy in good physical shape and was lucky to be able to maintain that throughout. I let go of the expectation that my body would bounce back right away (not even right away, but maybe within a few months?) but MAN was it still a shock! I had NO core strength whatsoever. My hammies felt like jello, all that firmness GONE. Lots of jiggly parts that weren’t there before. And just an overall weakness (I’m sure the sleep depravation didn’t help).
Who the heck was I in this body?
It’s hard as an athlete not being able to do what you used to do. Feeling like your body isn’t as you knew it before. It all feels so foreign. You have to reacquaint yourself with this new temple that housed a baby for 9 months and is now yours again (minus the boobs. LOL). It’s like going from this sturdy house built of bricks to this rickety shack that is completely unstable.
I took things very slow. Initially, all I did was walk. Slowly. I tried to do some bodyweight exercises but was so discouraged by how weak I felt. And my pelvic floor? WOW. It felt like nothing was intact.
Then the new year rolled around and I decided to challenge myself to do 30 days of yoga through a program that Adriene of Yoga with Adriene puts out every year. It was a success! I managed to do it, with lots of modifications, and started to feel my strength slowly reemerge. She follows up that program with a monthly yoga calendar where you can continue that daily practice with YouTube playlists that take the paradox of choice (remember my last post?) out of any decision making of which video to choose.
I was finding my groove. Slipping into a morning routine that worked for me. And feeling rather encouraged as I slowly reacquainted myself with a body that felt more familiar.
Altogether, I gained almost 40 lbs during my pregnancy. I am back to my pre-pregnancy weight, maybe a few pounds less due to losing some muscle mass. My clothes fit again and I am feeling good. But not quite as strong. And now I have an almost 30 lb toddler to keep up with!
It is only now, well over a year postpartum, that I am introducing some resistance training. Light weights and high reps to start. Some HIIT (high intensity interval training). And only 20-30 mins. Tops.
I share all of this because everything takes time. Some women get right back into it (once they get the green light from their doctor, of course) and some take it at a much slower pace. I think I surprise people when they ask whether I am lifting again and answer with “Nope”.
What?!?! Who ARE you?!?!
I know! I’ve surprised myself, too! Friends remember the strong, hard core, Ironwoman and are slightly bewildered by this less intense, gentler version. I am, too. But I am embracing her and letting her lead the way. Because that is what I need right now.
Meet yourself where you are. Maybe it’s not what you’re used to, but it’s who YOU are in this moment.