As a new stay-at-home-mom, I am still trying to figure out how to find the sweet spot of doing what I need to do to take care of my son, and doing what I need to do to take care of me. I was tempted to use the word “balance” just now, but that’s not really the case. There is no balance. I am not seeking it or trying to create it. I’m just trying to feel into what exactly I need each day.
My husband and I had a conversation about this recently. As the primary caregiver during the week (and mostly on the weekends, too), this is an ongoing challenge. If I don’t get enough “me” time, by the end of the weekend I sometimes feel burnt out and a sense of underlying anxiety as I anticipate the upcoming week.
There are things I do each day to create that space for myself. Things I do to stay happy and healthy. But sometimes it doesn’t feel like enough.
I wake up early so I can get in my meditation and yoga time and a little bit of essential housework (vacuuming and cloth diapers in this household) before starting the day. While my son naps, I fit in workouts, showers and eating along with catching up on texts and emails and doing something creative (like writing a blog post or playing piano). These are all things I enjoy doing. And things I need to do. Working out has no longer become a “I want to do this for me” but an “I need to do this for me” in order to keep up with my ever growing and ever mobile toddler.
But at the end of the day, it doesn’t always feel like enough. I feel depleted and in a bit of a rut. I have been struggling to figure out what it is I need to do to each day to get out of it and not feel the redundancy of day-to-day motherhood.
And then I had a little light bulb moment.
Create. Connect. Learn. Play. Move. Relax.
These are the things I need to do each day to feel fulfilled. And happy.
Create. Make something. Do something crafty. Do something creative. Write.
Connect. Connect with friends and family. Check in with people you haven’t heard from in awhile or who you know are going through a rough patch.
Learn. Learn something new. Learn a new tap dance combo. Learn a new way to fold crew socks (seriously. I just did and it has made my sock drawer look spectacular!).
Play. Do something playful (much easier now with a toddler!). Play music. Do something fun and silly.
Move. Get outside. Go for a walk. Dance. Lift something heavy.
Relax. Put your feet up on the couch for a bit. Read a book. Hang out in savasana.
These are the things that make me happy. They leave me feeling less depleted. They leave me feeling more in touch with ME.
What things do you need to do each day to feel happy and connected to you? Try to make time for it. Keep that appointment with yourself. Keep what makes you happy.
“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”
~Dalai Lama