It’s the eve of my 40th birthday. (and you were supposed to hum that to the tune of “Sixteen going on Seventeen” from The Sound of Music … I’m a music geek!) For some, this can often be a scary whoah-how-did-I-get-here-already moment. Honestly, I am really excited about entering this new decade. I have heard great things about the 40’s.
I always tend to be reflective as my birthday approaches, thinking about what has changed and how I have grown over the past year. This time it feels even more significant. I can’t quite describe it, but I feel a deep sense of gratitude for all that has transpired over the last 10 years, as difficult as many of those moments have been.
As I look back, I want to take a moment to share some reflections over the past decade, ways I have grown and accomplishments I am proud of:
I entered my 30’s having just ended a long-term relationship and breaking off an engagement. This was a wonderful man (who still remains a very close friend) that I dated for most of my 20’s and moved to Virginia for. Let’s just say, I was a bit of a mess as I turned 30. I felt I really had to reinvent myself and discover who I was removed from that romantic relationship. It was both liberating and terrifying at the same time. And, of course, I didn’t have the hindsight I do now to know that everything would be just fine…
I moved to Old Town Alexandria and enjoyed the single life. I also happened to live directly across the street from a yoga studio and started going regularly. It was AMAZING. It brought up a lot of “stuff” for me and I became very aware of the mind/body/spirit connection. I eventually completed my 200-hour Teacher Training in Holistic Yoga. It was a profound and rewarding experience.
That experience led me to a body-based psychotherapy which was, in a word, transformational. I took a deep dive in that as well and completed a 4 year practitioner program in Core Energetics. See a trend here? I can’t seem to just get “into” something. I have to go all the way! LOL. That being said, therapy is still a huge part of my life which I think is essential, whether one is in crisis or not.
Athletically, my triathlon days had come to a close after I crashed my bike during a Half-Ironman race in 2010. I completed it but it shook me a bit and I decided to take a break from triathlon. I had checked the box of completing an Ironman back in 2009, so it felt right.
Enter: bodybuilding. After attending a bodybuilding show to support a dear friend, I decided I wanted to give it a go myself. I transformed my super lean (uhhh, skinny…) endurance physique into a figure competitor. I competed for nearly two years and placed top 5 in almost all my competitions. I learned A LOT during this time and my eyes really opened to the power of diet and consistency. Abs really are made in the kitchen.
I took a break from competing (because FOOD. And wine. And, let’s be honest … dating) and yearned for something different. Enter: obstacle course racing. I signed up for my first Spartan race in May and completed all three distances (Sprint, Super, Beast) by August. This is the sport I see myself sticking with as I enter my 40’s. I love it. I will pay money to race and travel through this sport. AROO!
Speaking of dating … I dated quite a bit during my 30’s. I felt like I was catching up with what I might have done in my 20’s. Some fun experiences, some rather serious ones. All online. I embraced the fact that this was the new way of meeting people.
In late 2015 my life was forever changed. I met my husband, Michael. On Tinder. Yup. We swiped right. 😉 Remember my ex-fiance from the beginning of my 30’s? Micheal used to teach 5th grade with his mom (my almost mother-in-law!) for many years and would hear all about me when we were dating. CRAZY TOWN. Michael and I dated for almost two years, but knew within 6 months that we had something special. I even learned a ridiculously hard piece of piano music for him. #Rach3foraRock was born. (i.e. learning the first movement to Rachmaninov’s 3rd Piano Concerto for a diamond…). He surprised me with an engagement in February and we got married that December.
We have traveled all over the world together (the benefits of both of us having summers off): France, Spain, England, Poland, Portugal, Australia & New Zealand. Just to name a few… 😉
We bought a house which we are turning into our dream home!
I switched from teaching high school music to elementary general music. I love it. I really feel I have grown even more as a teacher with this age group. Even if I sometimes feel very non-grownup-like and get to be super silly!
I have learned to enjoy performing again. I had struggled with my relationship with the piano and performance, having pursued it as a career. I was eventually able to let go of aspects of my perfectionism and truly enjoy music and the joy of playing. Buying my very own Steinway helped.
I adopted my first adult cat, Roman, at an animal shelter. I had always grown up with pets but never had one on my own. He brings me (and Michael) a lot of joy.
I began reading more (I was not a fan as a child) and have started challenging myself to read a book every week. So far I am meeting that challenge! And have fallen in love with reading…
Wow! A lot of growing has happened through all of these life events. I feel like I am more grounded in who I am and know what I want. I am really connected to my body. I feel more confident in pursuing things that make me happy. I tolerate less BS. I am getting better with self-care and listening to what I need.
What a great way to enter my 40’s! Happily married, homeowner, stable and satisfying job, lots of creative outlets, good health … LIFE IS GOOD.
I still have many hopes and dreams for my 40’s but, in a way, I feel like I’m just getting started. I have an inkling that the best is yet to come.
“Life is a book and your forties are the chapters when it all starts making sense…”
Let’s do this, 40! WOOHOO!
Do what makes you happy.