I recently found myself in a meeting at work where we were doing some problem-solving. Admin was there and leading the conversation, which included a lot of storytelling to propose some possible solutions. I didn’t say a whole lot as I was mainly listening and didn’t feel there was anything I felt I needed to add in the moment.
As we were wrapping things up, a comment was made about me needing to find my voice. It was an off hand-ish comment in a joking “I noticed you didn’t say a whole lot” kind of way. I didn’t take it personally. I know myself well and my tendency to listen and not talk a whole lot. But even as a joke, it was slightly frustrating to me, especially coming from an educator. It was a joke that insinuated that I need to “find” my voice because I chose to listen and not speak.
This diagram illustrates how I operate perfectly:
This year I am challenging myself to read more. 52 books in 52 weeks. I have been doing pretty well so far (I’m on my 24th book in my 20th week! Woohoo!). One of the books I read was quite powerful: “Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World that Can’t Stop Talking” by Susan Cain.
I love this quote:
“There’s zero correlation between being the best talker and having the best ideas.”
and
“We have two ears and one mouth and we should use them proportionally.”
Yes. Yes. YES!
I think introverts are often mislabeled as being “too quiet” or “not having a voice” because we don’t talk as much as extroverts.
It is often the exact opposite. There is plenty for us to say, we are just processing and choosing the right moment to say it. And, quite honestly, people who talk too much just don’t give us an opportunity to insert ourselves into the conversation and say what we need to say. Or at least that’s what it feels like.
Introverts, how many of you have been in this situation:
You have a thought or idea that you want to share but the person you are in “conversation” with just keeps talking and by the time they pause, ever so slightly, what you were going to say is no longer relevant or the topic has been completely changed. ARGH. So frustrating!
“Introverts are word economists in a society suffering from verbal diarrhea.” ~Michaela Chung
#truth
Don’t be ashamed if you are more a listener than a talker.
You have a voice.
Some people just love the sound of their voice so much that they forget to allow time to hear yours. It’s OK. They’re not bad people.They just have a habit of talking. A lot.
“Wise men speak because they have something to say; fools because they have to say something.” ~Plato
Do what makes you happy.
Especially if it means being quiet.