My toddler is at that age where he imitates a lot. I mean, A LOT. It’s usually the last word you say in a phrase. Sometimes he will even pick up words I said months ago, not knowing he had stored them away. It’s absolutely mind-boggling to witness as he learns and takes in the world around him.
But I realized something. He is watching me all the time. Every move. Every thing I say. How I react to things. My energy. It’s a little eery at times, especially when he starts spouting random things or doing random things. He doesn’t go to daycare, so it’s just us most of the time. So when I’m like “Where did he learn that?!?!” Oh. Right. Me. Or his dad. LOL.
It has forced me to become more mindful. Not just more mindful of my speech, but my energy in particular. Babies are soooo good at picking up on energy. I mean, that’s what they relied on in the womb. Their mom’s energy. I read an interesting study on how babies respond to a dog’s bark. While in the womb, if the mom was in fear or startled by the dog, her body would tense up and the baby would pick up on that fearful energy. If the mom lived with a dog, she would exude a more peaceful and loving energy which the baby would also pick up on. Same sound, different reactions. So when the baby was born, they were more likely to respond however their mother responded. So fascinating.
I have been thinking a lot about how I respond and react to things and where it comes from. What is my default? Why is it that way? And do I want to change it?
A lot of the time there is something I want to change. Maybe it’s how I react to criticism, or when my husband is running late to things, or when my toddler is throwing a mini tantrum because I want to change his diaper (For some reason he doesn’t mind sitting in his own filth. Apparently it is just for my benefit. Because … the smell! LOL). I notice how quickly my body tenses up. Either in frustration or as a means to brace myself. It’s a default reaction.
The first step is to notice. Once I do I breathe. Try to relax my body. Try to not judge myself for the reaction I had. And just keep breathing.
That’s all I’ve got so far. LOL. Just breathe. I know it sounds simple, but it’s deceptively challenging to do. And beyond that? I don’t know. I don’t know how to change a default reaction that is so engrained in your being. Maybe you don’t even have to. Just start to notice when you do and breathe.
“Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it.”
~Charles R. Swindoll
Are there moments in your day where you can stop and breathe before you react? If so, will it bring you more peace? Something worth contemplating.