My son and I attended his first class the other day. It was a class with kids in his age group where they got to explore this soft padded room with all sorts of things to climb and crawl through. As I looked around, I noticed he was the only child that wasn’t walking. And my thoughts instantly went into comparison mode.
Ugh. That is such a hook for me. It’s one of those things that I know is useless to do, especially with your child, but it gets me just about every time. It’s a silly default reaction. And that’s all it is. A mindless reactive thought.
“Comparison is the thief of joy”
~Teddy Roosevelt
How would I feel if I didn’t have this thought? This thought that my child “should” be walking and that I must be doing something wrong? (which I absolutely know is not true, but that little inkling of a thought does butt it’s stupid little head out)
I would feel at peace. I would feel lighter. I would feel more confident in my parenting.
“Stay in your own lane.”
“Stay on your own mat.” (in yoga)
I have to keep reminding myself of this. I know this will be a “thing” for me in parenting. Comparing my son to other people’s kids. Comparing milestone achievements. It’s so silly. And ridiculous. And creates needless suffering.
I spend time each morning doing personal work to get myself in the right headspace for the day. I do yoga. I do breathwork. I meditate and observe my thoughts, practicing just noticing them and not getting too stuck on them.
And yet.
And yet this still happens.
And that’s OK. I am noticing. I am noticing the stickiness of the thoughts. How I can easily cling to them. But the cool part is that they are not real. They are just thoughts. Only when I attach meaning to them do they become more real.
What reactive thoughts do you notice yourself clinging to? How would you feel without that thought? Let that sh*t go. Be gentle with yourself.