It’s Thanksgiving week! Woohoo! Although it looks very different this year, it is a time where many people reflect on all the blessings in their lives and express gratitude. For some it is simply an inner process. For others it’s a sharing on social media. I’m sure you have all seen the gratitude posts the past few weeks.
I myself keep a gratitude journal of sorts. I write down 3 things I am grateful for each day (thanks to the Calm app for reminding me!). But I also understand that some people are not feeling all that grateful this year. They feel downright crappy. Life has dealt them many blows this 2020.
It got me to thinking. A lot has been said recently about forced positivity or inauthentic positivity or toxic positivity. The idea of “the excessive and ineffective overgeneralization of a happy, optimistic state across all situations. The process of toxic positivity results in denial, minimization, and invalidation of the authentic human emotional experience.” (https://thepsychologygroup.com/toxic-positivity/)
I am a true believer in acknowledging one’s feelings. Feeling your feelings. Not putting a mask on or suppressing feelings. Obviously, sometimes we have to put them aside in the moment when we are in certain professional or social situations, but we must make a promise to ourselves to deal with them when we are ready.
Anyone who follows me on social media knows that I post a lot of positive quotes and memes and items of that sort. That is because I am truly feeling that in the moment, though I understand that many others may not. I try my best not to post anything super positive and peppy when I am feeling shitty. Because I feel I am being inauthentic and not true to myself. I have certainly had my ups and downs this past year, too.
That being said, I do believe in looking on the bright side and trying to find even the smallest things to be grateful for. The silver lining. But if you are in a really low and dark place right now, I don’t believe in faking that you’re not there. Honor that place. You don’t have to pretend to be happy.
For some, this holiday season is going to be really crappy. And that’s OK. You are not alone in that. There are plenty of people in this world who are not having the best holiday season. This pandemic has really turned everything upside down.
Like many others, my husband and I have decided to stay put. We are not travelling this Thanksgiving to be with family and will instead opt for a Zoom Thanksgiving. It’s not the same. It sucks. I miss life the way it used to be. But this is our current reality and we have to adjust.
Feel what you need to. If you feel crappy, let yourself feel that. If you feel grateful, let yourself feel that, too. Whatever it is, just be true to yourself.
“Nothing destroys self-worth, self-acceptance and self-love faster than denying what you feel. Without feelings, you would not know where you are in life. Nor would you know what areas you need to work on. Honor your feelings. Allow yourself to feel them.”
~Iyanla Vanzant
Remember to do what makes you happy. Even if that means eating all the pumpkin pie…
